


Puzzle Pieces

by coffeejunkii



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Clint's screwed up childhood, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, New Relationship, Nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-21
Updated: 2014-09-21
Packaged: 2018-02-18 05:02:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2336243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coffeejunkii/pseuds/coffeejunkii
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A few weeks into their relationship, Clint has a nightmare. Phil helps.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Puzzle Pieces

A sound wakes Phil. He blinks his eyes open, taking stock of his bedroom. Nothing is out of place. No intruders. He can feel Clint next to him, still asleep. One of Clint's hands is tucked up against Phil's side. It brings a smile to Phil's face. He's still getting used to having someone sleep next him almost every night, but he likes having Clint there. They went through an awkward phase of feeling obligated to separate for the night after a date—which mostly involved take-out and sex—until Phil invited Clint to stay over. The shy smile and nod he got in return made Phil regret not having asked earlier.

Phil has almost drifted off when he hears the sound again. It's coming from Clint, and the brief burst of distress turns into a series of whimpers. Phil turns to check on Clint. A frown draws deep lines across Clint's face and there's a tension running through his body that's easy to see even in the dark.

Unsure whether it would be okay to touch Clint, Phil calls out his name. Clint is a trained agent after all and if he's caught up in a nightmare, waking him may get unpleasant for Phil. Clint doesn't respond. Phil sits up and tries again, a little louder, without success. He doesn't want to raise his voice because he knows how much Clint hates that. But he also wants to get Clint out of that dream. “Clint!”

Clint startles, but then keeps eerily still. His eyes are flitting around the room without any real focus.

Phil leans closer. “Hey, you're okay. We're at—at home. Everything's fine.”

Clint glances at Phil, relaxing a fraction. He sits up, bending over to dip his head into his hands. He's close enough to Phil that their thighs touch.

“Bad dream?” Phil asks softly.

“Yeah.” Clint drops his hands. His head is turned just far enough away that Phil can't see his face.

Phil waits for Clint to do or say something, but he doesn't. Perhaps the dream is still lingering, images playing over and over again in his mind. Phil's had dreams like that. He hasn't been with Clint long enough to know what works best to get Clint out of this funk. He can't recall Clint ever having a nightmare when they shared a room or a bed during missions. Clint always seemed like sound sleeper, dropping off almost as soon as his head hit the pillow.

“Is it okay if I put my hand on your shoulder?” 

Clint hums in agreement.

Phil spreads his hand over Clint's shoulder blade. There's a minute tremor in the muscles under his palm that makes Phil wonder if Clint is trying very hard not to let him see how much that dream affected him. Phil wants to draw Clint into his arms, but he senses that they need to take it a step at a time. Clint is usually good with affection, even seeking it out when they're alone together. He may even want it now, but in small doses. 

“You know that I'll listen if you want to tell me what that dream was about.”

“It's not—” Clint pauses. “'s not about Madrid.”

Madrid was a possibility Phil considered as origin of Clint's dream. It's been three weeks, but the op was a fraught. Too many difficult choices. Bloody in ways that got to both of them. “Okay.” Phil draws his hand over Clint's back. When that doesn't get a bad reaction, he continues. Slow broad strokes across Clint's shoulders. Clint's head drops forward, hopefully a sign that Phil's touch helps to settle him. 

“Is this a dream you've had before?” Phil doesn't mean to pry, but he wants to know if this is a regular occurrence.

“Yeah.” Clint pulls away a little. “You don't have to sit with me. I'll be fine. I can go to the living room so I don't bother you, or—”

“You're not bothering me.” It comes out sharper than Phil intended. He's known about the neglect Clint has experienced for a long time; the way people ignored and dismissed more or less any need Clint had that wasn't directly tied to his survival. Phil hates that those experiences taught Clint that he can't ask for comfort. “I want to make sure you're okay, and that's not a chore. Alright?”

Clint nods, but the hesitation is clear in the gesture.

Phil shuffles close enough that their sides are touching. He slowly wraps an arm around Clint's waist, making sure to give Clint the chance to pull away if this isn't welcome. “I don't mind sitting with you.” Phil hesitates before the next words. He's not that great with all of this talking-about-feelings stuff either, but Clint needs to hear this more than Phil is embarrassed to say it. “You're not alone in this. I'm here for you.”

Clint sucks in a breath, and then he turns, pushing into Phil's space, one arm around Phil's shoulders and the other around his side. He presses his face into the crook of Phil's neck and shoulder, gulping in more air.

Phil holds Clint tightly to him. “It's okay. Everything's okay.”

Clint trembles. His fingers dig into Phil's T-shirt, fabric twisting under his fingers. Phil tries to steady Clint as best as he can. He curls a hand over Clint's nape, which seems to help. He keeps telling Clint that everything's fine and that he's safe, that nothing's going to happen to him.

Clint settles eventually. He shifts a little, drawing out of the embrace, but doesn't move away. He leans heavily against Phil. “It's always the same dream.”

“You don't have to tell me.”

“I want to. The dream comes and goes. Sometimes I have it every night. Then it doesn't happen for months. I'm always in a house—the houses change, but what happens is the same. My mom comes in and tells me to pack up my stuff because we have to leave. And I try, but there are always things left. Even when I think I got everything. I know that we're already late, but I can't do it faster, and there's always something I still need to grab.” Clint turns his face into Phil's shoulder and Phil wonders if he's done, but then Clint continues, voice muffled. “I turn around to check with her, to tell her sorry that I'm not fast enough, but she's gone. I run out of the house, but I can't see her anywhere. And then I realize that she left.”

Phil's at a loss. He expected something terrifying—perhaps being chased or trapped, but this is worse because this happened to Clint. Not in this exact way, but he was left behind, more than once. Phil knows this is one of Clint's fears, and a reason for why he kept his feelings for Phil to himself for a long time. Better not to start anything at all than to be alone again in the end, he explained. Phil understands all too well, and he's determined not to let this happen. He won't be another person to walk away from Clint.

“I'm sorry,” he whispers. He doesn't know what else to say. He keeps holding Clint, stroking over his hair. 

“It's okay. It just sucks. I wish that dream would stop. Sometimes I think it's gone, but then it always comes back.”

They sit for a while longer. A twinge flares in Phil's lower back. He doesn't want to move them, but he's going to be in pain if they don't. “Do you want to lie down?”

Clint lets go of Phil. He settles on his side of the bed. 

Phil almost sighs. He didn't mean that Clint needed to retreat. Phil signals very clearly that he intends to move into Clint's space before lying down. He wiggles close to Clint. “Still here. If you want.”

“I do.” Clint turns onto his side, pressing his back against Phil's chest. “Like this?”

Phil fits himself around Clint's body. He folds an arm around him, hand splayed on his chest. Clint takes Phil's hand into his own. “I'm not good at this.”

“I'm not that great at it, either.” But Phil's willing to work on it if he can have moments like this, when Clint manages to ask for what he wants and Phil can give that to him. Even if it's something as simple as holding Clint after a bad dream.

“Just...wait for me. Please? Even when I mess up.”

Phil presses a kiss to Clint's neck. “I will. Promise.”


End file.
